“Do you regret having your first kid at 20?”, I ask my mom, Anna Chaysouk. She stares at me blankly. This thought provoking question was most likely going to be the most emotional answer I would be given by my mom. Born in Dallas, Texas, but raised in San Diego, Anna was taught to be composed and ladylike in a first generation Asian household. If she were anything other than ladylike, she were a disappointment. How could she answer this question and maintain decorum.

In school, she was a very good student, reaching for A’s all the time. She participated in many sports like basketball, lacrosse, and cross country, and received the title of a tri-athlete. Awaiting college, she had just met her boyfriend, now her husband. She was set on pursuing a career in business when she was in high school, however, she was faced with a life changing event, pregnancy. “Despite what my parents had to say about my situation, I am very pro-life. So whatever they told me, even if it was to consider aborting my kid for the sake of my life, I would never.” This is the only test Anna faced that she was scared to fail.

Throughout Anna's  pregnancy she felt the most alone she's ever felt, despite the support she got. She claims that although her parents did not support her decisions, they still loved her unconditionally, without a doubt, and encouraged her to raise the kid so she can move up in life. Because I was interviewing her about choices, I asked Anna about the full ride scholarship to study business in college she was giving up. "So do you regret having your first child at 20? What would you have done differently? Do you genuinely think you'd be ore successful now?"

She acknowledges the blueprint for her life doesn't match with the life she's built; at 36 she has 3 kids and is working as a medical assistant, but that doesn't mean she regrets it. She stated clearly, "there is nothing I regret at all." At the same time she recognizes that if  she had put her education first, above everything else, she’d be in a very different place. She finished with, "I don't know if I'd be more successful or not" and the insistence that there are many different values that children bring to you life, to your family. "It's enlightening."