It’s really easy to tell someone to “just forget about it” or “don’t pay much attention to what others have to say” in response to bullying. It’s not easy, however, to actually forget about it or not pay attention to it. My sister has experienced bullying for the last 4+ years and it has had an extremely negative affect on her mental health.

 My sister has been verbally bullied most of her life; people shaming her for her weight. She was told to think of such mean-spirited remarks as “motivation” or as a “wake-up call” instead of the hurtful judgements they were. Her confidence fell and we started to notice dramatic changes in her behavior.

She started skipping breakfast or sometimes dinner. Quickly this led to going the entire day without eating. She would not eat before school, not eat at school, and when she got home, she would straight to her room. Constant comments about her weight hurt her so much she basically decided to starve herself.

She began distancing herself from family spending most of her time at home alone in her room. When family members tried to talk to her, she was always filled with anger and hate; she lashed out. Confusion about why people she had been nothing but nice too berated her with disgusting comments left her in anxious tears nightly.

Sadly, her withdrawal and emotional reactions were thought to be the typical “teenager phase” dramatics. Things got worse. Giggles and jokes about her at school made her not even want to go. She didn’t feel safe. She was terrified of what would happen next; constantly overthinking and obsessing about the trauma.

My sister is learning to manage the stress and anxiety this bullying has caused and the destruction it has done to her self image. But there are still days she doesn’t want to leave her room, still days she doesn’t feel safe. If you are experiencing bullying of any type, please reach out for help because there are people out there who care. Ask for help. You can contact Students Speaking Out, an anonymous 24-hour hotline, at (888) 580-8477 and you can report bullying by completing the San Diego Unified Online Student Bullying Reporting Form.